Wednesday, May 18, 2005

went to mit xiong at bedok wif salena.. lolz.. kinda excited.. coz wanted to go giant to see him ytd de.. but in the end nv go.. den today can mit him.. i'm so damn happy.. lolz.. haha.. we reached there quite late bahz.. he's wif 1 of his frend.. whom he intro us as melvin.. den went to the nearby coffee shop to eat.. ordered desert.. i ate mango longan.. he too ate the same.. haha.. den slack there for awhile.. went home at 11.45.. although didnt tok much.. but i enjoyed it beri much.. before we left.. he hooked my little finger and gave mi a sweet smile.. haha.. hope things will improve bahz.. lolz.. miss my bear lots

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:49 AM!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

went to work as usual.. business was damn bad.. not much customer.. argh.. went to dye and highlight my hair.. den went to katong shopping center de ktv.. after tht went to giant to look for kong kong.. when i reach giant.. haha.. alot of ppl sae my hair look nice.. except for tht fat cat.. fook.. think she's jealous bahz.. den francis sae i'm bcuming more and more vain.. and tht xiong sure will like my hair.. lolz.. rather happy to hear tht.. next day went to work.. den francis told him i dyed and highlighted my hair.. he turn to mi and gave mi a beri sweet smile which realli melt my heart.. haha.. den kevin told mi xiong's so damn happy.. coz they saw him smiling to himself.. haha.. den salena gek siao go sae my hair look ugly.. but he sae it looks nice.. damn happy to hear tht.. haha.. den on the 12th.. we went to salena's nephew's birthday.. haha.. before we went to her brother's house.. we had dinner wif xiong and francis.. den tht stewpid francis kept di siao-ing mi and xiong.. den xiong ask francis ask mi wad i wanna eat.. i told him i oni wanna drink water as i'm rather full.. we did tok to each other.. even though we didnt tok much.. but i enjoyed our conversation.. i wanted to pay for the water.. coz tht time he treat us go kbox.. so now it's nth wrong to treat him ma.. but he and francis keep wanting to pay for us.. make us so paiseh.. haha.. the way he eat was so damn cute.. haha.. bth him.. lolz.. den after tht went to salena's brother house.. haha.. had pizza for our dinner.. didi is so damn happy as it was his birthday.. haha.. can see he's realli enjoying himself.. lolz.. left her brother's place at about 11pm.. den salena called mi at nite.. telling mi some good news.. coz she sae when francis di siao us.. xiong's so paiseh.. and i did notice it.. as his face realli turn red.. haha.. so cute sia.. lolz.. these few days oso damn good.. he keep looking at our direction.. which's a good sign.. haha.. den today jio him go eat.. but too bad.. he's eating halfway through.. he asked mi y i didnt ask him earlier.. lolz.. if i've known he'll go for his lunch break wif mi.. i sure ask him go de.. lolz.. den he called salena at ard 7pm sharp.. den we went to find him.. accompany him awhile.. den we go ler.. coz he's tired.. lolz.. he's realli cute.. and guessed wad.. he had been smiling to mi these few days.. especially today when we went to mit him.. he was smiling so sweetly to mi.. even salena could see it.. haha.. happy sia.. hope things will turn out fine for us.. =D

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:35 AM!

Friday, May 06, 2005

finally he approached mi and talk today.. haha.. gonna fly.. ytd help him pick up his cardboard.. den he sae mi kpo.. but now he finally cum tok to mi.. kan happy sia.. hehe.. off to bed.. tml work.. cyaz

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:02 AM!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

it's was a wonderful day for mi.. a day i would always remember.. a day in which i wish time would just stop at tht beri moment.. went to work as usual today.. i'm the oni one working.. salena and sarah had their off.. business was bad.. no customers at all.. den called salena.. wanted to jio her go serangoon.. she asked mi if i've eaten not.. coz she's wif xiong.. haha.. she sae she'll call mi back lata.. ard 6 plus.. i called her.. she asked mi if i noe how to go parklane not.. coz they went there to sing sia.. i told her i dunno.. den xiong ask her to tell mi where it is.. kinda touch.. thought he won't care wheather i noe how to go not.. den salena told mi on the phone tht he asked alot of stuffs abt mi.. keep asking her why i cannot leave early.. lolz.. after work.. took a cab down to paradiz center.. tht idiot sickening steven was oso there.. spoil mood sia.. lolz.. but nvm.. who cares abt him.. 1 of his frend working there was in the room too.. didnt dare to sing at first.. but salena keep insisting mi to sing.. had no choice.. but to sing.. haha.. den after tht he joined in.. was shocked.. his vocal is realli damn nice.. sing alot of songs together wif him.. haha.. i'm so damn happy.. especially when i'm singing hu yan bing de waiting for you.. he suddenly joined in.. kinda surprised.. den salena told mi she saw him looking at mi a couple of times while i'm singing.. nth can describe how i feel sia.. haha.. salena told mi.. when we sing till the last song.. he suddenly ask salena to dedicate hao xin fen shou.. she asked him why.. den he pointed at mi.. didnt noe he would still remember i like this song alot.. haha.. he's just so cute.. just like a baby.. did alot of funny things to entertain us.. den keep offering mi sweets.. haha.. melt sehz.. den he keep di siao tht sickening steven.. haha.. ji tao laugh till peng sia.. lolz.. we sang till 12 plus.. den after tht we took a cab down to geylang and haf our supper.. it was quite near his house.. and tht was the time when i realli tok to him face to face.. get to noe alot of things abt him.. finished dinner ard 1 plus.. den he asked steven to send mi home.. touched sia.. haha.. when i reached home.. salena called mi.. she sae she can see tht ah xiong do care alot abt mi.. but i dunno does he feel tht way not.. i hope he do.. lolz.. anyway.. all thanks to salena.. without her info.. i tink i would haf become mad alreadi.. haha.. and lastly.. i realli enjoy myself wif him.. even though steven spoil every mood.. i wish the time would just stop at tht beri moment

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:53 PM!

Friday, April 22, 2005

met sarah at kovan today.. went to look for wallet and handbag.. after tht went parkway.. met salena and siong at the coffee shop.. quite surprise by wad he did.. lolz.. scold the bangala siao.. haha.. so cute.. den went to isetan to buy my wallet.. bought a pierre cardin wallet.. after tht went to the loading bay there wif salena to tok kok.. den siong cum down.. offered mi ciggy.. but too bad i quit smoking ler.. i told him i dun wan.. so sweet.. finally he approach mi.. damn happy.. den went to katong ktv wif salena.. belinda.. jing xuan.. li juan and frends.. den went to bedok 85 to eat bak chor mee.. den went to princess mac to mit up wif berlinda and jing xuan.. after tht went home.. lolz.. kinda happy.. salena help mi ask him alot of stuffs.. quite happy and surprised by wad he sae and his reaction.. lolz.. sleepless nite for mi

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:50 AM!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

got my pay today.. 768 bucks.. haha.. gotta pay for my hp bill.. buy my blusher.. mascara.. highlight and cut my hair.. dunno wad hairstyle to cut.. lolz.. scare lata the hairstyle dun suits mi.. lolz.. guess wad.. we almost hit our target of 1k at work today.. haha.. 900.10 bucks.. a few more to 1k.. wad a waste.. haha.. nvm.. gotta work hard for tml.. lolz.. was kinda happy.. my mood ish damn high throughout the day.. haha.. my frend told mi when i went to the toilet.. he was looking at mi.. haha.. i'm so damn happy.. but oni saw him a few times today.. how i wish he would stop by and smile to mi.. even though it's oni a smile.. but it mean alot to mi.. hehe.. it's like beri coincidental.. whenever i go else where.. i would see him.. even to the tea room.. haha.. just like ytd.. met each other when i'm walking out of the toilet.. and he smiled sweetly to mi.. and with tht smile.. my mood ish so damn good.. haha.. hope tml he'll be working afternoon shift.. so can see him longer.. lolz.. miss my toro siong

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:08 AM!

Saturday, April 09, 2005

a smile frm him can brightened up my entire day.. haha.. the toro guy smiled at mi when i'm walking out of the toilet.. i was damn shocked.. but kinda happy.. and with tht smile.. my life bcum much more brighter.. whaha.. how i wish he would smile at mi everyday.. hehe.. missing him ya.. muackz

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:43 AM!

Friday, April 08, 2005

didnt blog for a long period of time due to working.. currently working at 717 located at parkway parade.. if u guys are real damn free.. do drop by and pay mi a visit.. so far.. oni zinzen came to find mi.. haha.. but he dun wanna buy the durian puff there.. kuku rite.. lolz.. always buy the madeline's egg tart.. i shld ask my lady boss not to sell tht in future.. lolz.. hmm.. lotsa things happened recently.. including mi and him.. ever since i started working.. we've been drifting further and further apart.. i dunno wad he's thinking.. everytime coz of money stuffs.. he didnt contact mi.. well.. it's not the 1st time ler.. be it for my own good.. or for his own reason.. all i can sae is i'm realli tired of it ler.. same things.. same problems.. same solution.. nth can change the way it is.. ever since i started working.. i'm able to let things go slowly.. especially him.. i'm letting him go slowly.. i dun wanna cling on anymore.. i'm tired.. i'm out of strength.. even though it realli hurts my heart.. i still haf to let go.. after all these mths.. nearly 1 yr.. i still dunno how he felt for mi.. all the things he did to me.. all the things i've given up for him.. does he realli noe how i feel.. does he love mi.. i hope he'll.. but i've been telling myself not to be naive.. coz things aint wad i've expected.. we just add a fullstop to everything on the 28th of march.. well.. back at my work place.. there's this particular guy.. who had a superstar face.. his side view look like guang liang.. front view look like toro or gu ju ji.. and his cute too.. haha.. 1 of my frend go di siao him.. he ji tao face red sia.. haha.. bth.. but whenever i see him.. i felt beri happy.. and i found out tht.. whenever i saw him.. it's like he's giving mi the will power to work.. i'll gif my beri best whenever we saw each other.. although we didnt tok to each other.. but we did notice wad each of us is doing.. i'm kinda touched.. haha.. 2 days ago.. he just make face at mi.. i was like 'wth'.. aint he cute.. haha.. wif tht look.. he brightened up the rest of my entire day.. lolz.. didnt get to see him today.. was kinda like disappointed.. but nvm.. there's always a tml.. wanted to quit my job.. but bcoz of him.. i stayed on.. just to see him.. haha.. am i silly.. lolz.. go slp ler.. still nit to wait for kuku sarah to call mi.. tml still nit to work.. shagz sia.. i miss my toro aka ah siong

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:50 AM!

Saturday, March 12, 2005

i'm back to update my blog.. lotsa things happened recently.. which include the releasing of the GCE O level result.. haha.. wasnt satisfied wif my result.. hmm.. currently working at 727 located at Parkway Parade de Gaint there.. free cum find mi wor.. lolz.. it's my 3rd day of work.. kinda fun.. met quite alot of frends there.. haha.. den ling's mummy and daddt taught us alot of things.. like how we should promote the products to our customers all those stuffs.. although kinda tired.. but did enjoy myself there.. but still.. i miss him alot.. now tht i'm working.. we'll be having lesser and lesser time to mit up.. the last time we met.. were the sweetest moment tht i'll always remember.. the day where everything came true.. even though it was oni a few hours.. but i'm contented.. coz i realli nv regret going down to tpy to mit him.. tht was the day when he told mi the sweetest word to mi in my entire life.. i'm grateful to him.. i nv regret sacrifying so much.. but i still hope tht.. tht day would last forever.. i wished i could just stop the time.. so tht we'll be together forever.. and tht the sweetest moment would freeze there forever.. thanks for everything.. thanks for letting my dreams cum true.. i love u~

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 12:46 AM!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

argh.. time realli fly.. so fast cny's gonna end ler.. bought my new hp on monday.. went to lotsa places to check out the price of 6260 and 7610.. wanted to buy 7610.. but instead i went to buy 6260.. coz it's flip phone ma.. and haf lotsa functions in it.. cost mi a bomb sehz.. argh.. hmm.. went to tpy to mit him ytd.. seems like we're back to the past le.. but he treat mi better den the past.. everything seems to be sweeter den usual.. keep sayang mi when he hurt mi.. now he would always call mi.. like everything is back to the past.. i'm realli glad he still remember every little things tht i told him.. he told mi whenever he listen to the songs tht we used to listen together.. he'll always miss mi.. and remember the days we used to spend.. i was realli overjoyed.. was supposed to mit him today for movie de.. but cause ling.. alan.. zheng chong and wei lun cuming.. den i cancel the outing.. feeling beri guilty.. he's waiting for mi since he wake up till 4.45pm.. i slept damn long hour today.. think he's at chinablack now bahz.. just hope he'll cor mi tonight bahz.. and oso.. hope we'll be mitting tml.. actually going to awana on the 18th of feb.. but now.. my cb dad ruin everything.. argh.. fuck it.. just wanna see him nia.. feel so confused.. i think oni elaine understands wad's going on bahz.. haiz

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:15 AM!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

cny ish here.. haha.. damn shiok and shagged.. nb.. i hurt my leg while working.. now machiam bai ka.. dunno how to walk like tht.. haha.. went to my ah ma hse on the 1st day of new yr.. den to my ji um poh house.. after that we went to kallang and eat KFC.. damn packed sia.. haha.. den the 2nd day.. my dad ask mi to go to my uncle hse.. and my da gu hse.. but i didnt go.. coz my leg realli hurts.. haha.. den at night.. elaine and mi wanted to go to hong kor kor hse to bai nian de.. but all of them were at woodlands.. chiang kor kor called us to go woodlands.. went there and ate steamboat.. haha.. eat till we ckp.. there's this worker by the name of ah hwee.. dunno the chicken wing he can eat how long seh.. elaine and mi see ler.. oso bth.. idiot.. haha.. den after our dinner.. watched elaine they all pak mahjong.. at 1st is ling's cousin help the ah hwee de.. den bcum chiang kor kor.. den fei fei kor kor.. haha.. see him plae i oso bth.. he realli beri blur.. like slp not enough like tht.. haha.. can ckp.. lolz.. den went home ard 3am plus bahz.. haha.. kena di siao there.. stewpid elaine.. hai mi die until so jia lat.. neh neh dell haha.. den just now went to chiang kor kor hse.. he qing zi xia chu wor.. haha.. the food was damn freaking nice sia.. bth.. wanted to eat more.. but cannot.. coz i'm on diet ma.. whaha.. after dinner.. went to play black jack.. nb.. 1st 2 round lose $4 liao.. gif hong kor kor pian zou le.. whaha.. but after all.. i earn back my $4.. whaha.. had lotsa fun and laughters.. realli enjoyed myself these few days.. lolz.. tml maybe going hong kor kor hse.. dunno tht stewpid elaine cumin my hse not.. idiot.. whaha.. =x

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:30 AM!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

today is our last day at 717 ler.. time flies.. and we're leaving so soon.. ah dao.. ah bin.. orh peng.. and all the other workers had left singapore.. elaine and mi prepared some small goodies for them.. without them.. the stall realli seems beri dead.. no laughters.. and we had to carry those heavy stuffs ourselves.. dunno where the chao ta bin gone to oso.. idiot.. den work till 5pm.. went home to haf my reunion dinner.. after that rush back to 717 to start work.. haf to work till 6am in the morning.. damn shiok man.. mi.. ling and jing where shouting like mad.. as if the stall had bcum pasa malam.. haha.. den elaine was there selling the aeroplane flower.. lolz.. kinda fun bahz.. but not as fun as the past wor.. but after tonight.. everything will be back to normal le.. got my pay today.. $720 not including the bonus.. ling's dad called us go his hse bian nian den got ang bao.. haha.. and yeah.. 18th of feb.. we're going to awana.. a place located somewhere at KL.. xiang kor kor booked a chalet there.. and invited us to go.. ling.. mi and elaine had planned everything.. we're gonna shop till song song.. haha.. it's great working at 717

[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 8:04 AM!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

been busy wif work these few days.. tired but i did enjoy my work.. haha.. lost 3kg since i started working.. den my arm de muscle developed.. whaha.. been working late into the nite oso.. losta ppl.. all kinda fuckers.. make us confused and pek cek.. damn freaking fussy.. oranges nia ma.. still wan all to be in standard size sia.. wtf.. go ntuc den use the measuring rule to measure la.. idiot.. new yr getting nearer and nearer.. now even haf to do the watering myself.. haha.. shiok ah.. but nvm.. getting my pay soon.. ang bao oso cumin soon.. lolz.. wanna buy a new hp.. den haf my hair dyed and highlighted.. work till leg damn pain.. been running here and there.. hehe.. and guess wad.. today's ah dao birthday.. haha.. den mi.. ling.. elaine.. and jing buying small pressiee for him.. feeling damn tired.. but i had losta fun there.. lolz.. but deep in my heart.. i'm still thinking of him.. haiz.. it've been weeks since he last called mi.. i think maybe it's time for mi to let go.. i no longer haf the energy to climb over the wall to reach his world.. maybe letting go will do both of us good ba.. but the matter ish.. i just cant forget him.. haiz


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:07 AM!

Friday, January 28, 2005

just cam back from work.. lolz.. went down to ling's shop at 8am.. coz got road show ma.. den went to amk de wulu wulu de place there to sell those cny stuffs.. after that went off at 3.10pm.. den go back to ling's stall.. quite alot of ppl today bahz.. stand until leg pain.. but we had alot of fun and laughters.. lolz.. guess wad.. ling's bro called zoe tay.. pan ling ling.. lai yi ling and one 93.3fm dj to the stall.. haha.. they damn chio sia.. going crazy over them.. lolz.. den ling ask us to serve them.. i serve vivian lai.. den she bought 2 kuei bulu and 2 love letters from mi.. haha.. den after tht serve zoe tay.. lolz.. let her try the pineapple balls.. but she sae got durian smell.. den i huh.. she ask mi try.. lolz.. den she feed mi.. she actually feed mi sia.. haha.. i was like flying.. lolz.. i dunno how to describe the feeling.. lolz.. damn shiok.. lolz.. den took their autograph when they're abt to leave.. but was unable to take pan ling ling de signature.. coz she's driving ma.. lolz.. overall.. we had and enjoyable day today.. haha.. damn shiok ah.. lolz.. i'll always remember this day.. lolz


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 11:45 AM!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

went to work today.. was suppose to start work at 2pm.. but due to some reason.. had to be there by 9am.. lotsa ppl came.. walked here and there alot of time.. shiok sia.. didnt take my breakfast and lunch.. just dun haf the appetite to eat.. i kept recalling of the days we spent together.. i'm just damn miss him alot.. den went home at 11pm.. my dad cum and fetch mi.. in my dad's car.. i told my sis.. i've decided.. i'll try to forget him.. and gif up on this long waited love.. she's said i've made a good choice.. haiz.. i deep in my heart.. i keep thinking of him.. i noe he'll always remain somewhere in my heart.. den when i reach home.. he msg mi in irc.. he's at han xiang's house.. den he told mi he's going to leave singapore tonight.. leaving at 1am.. ask mi to take care of myself.. i'm damn dulan.. i wanted to buy him some durian stuffs for him to eat.. but in the afternoon.. there's alot of customers.. so i haf no choice.. but to stay till the night.. den bring him the stuffs tml.. but he's leaving now.. i just wanna mit him for once.. but i cant.. called him just now.. wanted to tell him all those stuffs tht's bothering mi.. but i dunno where to start.. den he ask mi cor back lata.. called him back.. he sae he call mi.. and finally he called mi.. he tell mi he wanna reformat his pc.. den i ask him when.. he sae when he's back.. he wants mi to go over and view.. he said he's waiting for mi to go over.. den i told him i'm waiting for his call.. he asked mi why i didnt call him myself.. and i reply coz i tot u're still angry wif mi.. den he sae he'll cor mi lata.. but i noe.. once the call end.. he'll be gone forever.. den i sms him.. asking him to take good care.. and told him tht no matter how long he'll be away.. i'll wait for him to return.. the last time i'll ever hear his voice.. i hope everything will turn out smoothly for him.. find this song beri meaningful.. the 1st verse ish wad mi and him is like in the past.. this song.. realli suits our situation.. go slp ler.. tml gotta work again.. waiting for tht idiot isaac to cum net.. sae wan kpkb wif mi.. tmd.. damn long.. haiz.. i miss him.. i realli miss him alot.. i dunno wad to do now.. i wanna see him now..


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:49 AM!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

back to blog again.. hmm.. decided to go meng ling's shop to help out.. i guessed tht's the oni way to forget him bahz.. i just wanna keep myself busy.. and earn more money.. i had enough.. i tolerated enough.. just started work ytd.. was kinda fun.. not stressful at all.. but down there.. i keep recalling the days we spend together.. coz.. whenever i go his house.. the bus and cab will go by tht road.. haiz.. miss those old days.. i guess i realli haf to gif up ler bahz.. the oni soultion to the problem.. i've alreadi did wad i can.. said wad i should.. but the outcome ish still the same.. haiz.. dunno wad to blog ler.. fucking moodless.. tml still haf to work.. go slp ler

*i just love u too deep.. and this time round.. i will learn to let go.. it's not bcoz i no longer love u.. it's bcoz i dunno how to face u.. take care.. i hope u will always remember mi.. thanks for all the memories tht u had given mi.. it's the happiest moments of my life.. all the best in ur future endeavours


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:08 AM!

Monday, January 24, 2005

woke up at 10 plus today.. coz gotta pass wennie her cd.. den after that prepare to go cine leisure mit my bro's gf and siew wen.. took a cab there.. reach cine at about 2.05 bahz.. den went to cheers to buy ciggy.. after that went to mit my bro de gf.. den accompanied my bro to haf his lunch.. his gf bought mi a necklace and a pair of earrings.. i like it beri much.. after that we proceed to k-box.. the room number oso nice sia.. room 23.. haha.. same no. as my birth date.. den we ordered 4 glasses of beer.. and one ice honey water.. but the waiter beri cb sia.. wanna check our ic.. tink his eyes pak jiao.. sae i not yet 18.. den i told him i'm 87 de leh.. he ask mi today wad date.. i told him 23 lehz.. he sae so zhun mehz.. dunno why he so dum bye.. birthday still got zhun or not de mehz.. nb.. den sang quite a number of songs.. after that siew wen came.. haha.. den we sing all the way.. drink quite alot oso.. haha.. den my bro suggest we plae a game.. he put a piece of tissue over the glass.. den put a 20 cent coin on the tissue.. den light a ciggy.. call us to poke the tissue.. the one who let the coin fall into the glass.. will haf to finish the glass of beer.. whaha.. but heng.. i kena 1 time oni.. lolz.. den sing all the way till 7.30pm like tht.. though i kinda enjoy myself.. but when we're singing some songs.. i suddenly think of him.. dunno wad he's doing at tht point of time.. almost cried.. mood totally change.. haha.. den after tht went to haf our dinner at koyashito.. if i didnt remember the name wrongly.. there was this guy wif a red hair.. haha.. siew wen keep bio-ing.. den we kept teasing her.. lolz.. den after our dinner.. i called him.. asked if he could mit mi for awhile not.. coz i realli just wanna see him nia.. den he told mi beri late ler.. and he was sleeping.. i felt tht he was avoiding mi.. kinda sad.. and i end the call.. smsed him.. ask him to tell him wad i wanna let him noe.. but he didnt reply.. den my bro send his gf home while mi and siew wen find a nice place to tok abt our problems.. den she encouraged mi to find him.. and even accompanied mi to tpy and look for him.. when i reached his hse.. i called him.. den i asked him if he was still angry over tht stuff not.. he told mi no.. den i asked him if he had read my sms.. he told mi no coz he was slping.. i was beri disappointed.. the 2nd time i cried in front of him.. den i buck up all my courange to tell him all my feelings and tht i realli dun wan all these to happen.. den he asked mi to go home as it was rather late.. i've been wanting to ask him if he ever had the feelings for mi.. but i didnt ask.. there's still alot of stuffs i haben told him.. den i asked him to take care.. and i walked away.. siew wen asked mi wad happened.. den i told her wad happened lo.. saw his dad on my way out his block.. his dad asked if i wanted to eat.. i told him i've eaten alreadi and i'm going hom ler.. den we took cab home.. after 3 minutes.. he called mi.. asked mi where i am.. i told him on cab.. near blk 90++.. den he said nvm.. i asked him why.. he sae nth.. he go do his stuff 1st.. den we end the call.. when i reached home.. i receive a sms frm him.. a 'happy birthday' sms.. was kinda happy.. but i tot he's gonna call mi.. till now haben receive a call frm him yet.. i just hope he will call bahz.. haiz.. my birthday wish for this yr is tht i hope we'll be back to the past.. and tht sth miracle will happen.. tml still meeting elaine at 8.20am.. den proceed to meng ling's de shop there help out.. hope everything will be fine bahz.. go rest ler.. drink quite alot today.. hope tml wont kena headache

*boy.. when i saw u.. i was rather happy.. coz if this is the last time we're gonna mit.. at least.. i've seen u for the last time.. just before my birthday ended.. all those stuffs tht i've told u is true.. and i mean it frm my heart.. i realli dun expect us to be together.. all i asked for.. is just the frendship we used to haf.. i wanted to go back to the old days where u're by my side.. i'm not used to the life without u.. i wanna hug u at tht point of time.. but i just cant find the courage to do tht.. i wanna cherish the last moment of the day.. but i cant.. for u've taken all my strength away from mi.. i'm glad when i've received the sms.. although it's oni happy birthday 2 words.. i'm contented.. take care.. and i love ya always.. no matter how long it'll be.. i'll still wait.. i'll wait for ur call.. i just hope.. u'll call mi wawa once again


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:52 AM!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Listening To: Tension - Wo Men De Gu Shi.mp3

everyone wished tht they'll be 18 soon.. but for mi.. i'll rather remain at 17.. alot of things happen during this period of time.. although there'll be some arguments between.. it oni last awhile.. but now.. things are really different.. he's no longer there for mi.. no longer there to dry my tears.. all these had bcum our memories.. the words he said still linger in my mind.. no matter wad i do.. no matter where i am.. the image of us together keep appearing right before mi.. the places we've visited.. the things we've done before.. the caring touch and words of encouragement.. i could no longer hear or feel it anymore.. i've been waiting for him to call.. just hope i'll receive a 'happy birthday wawa' from him.. i tink he wont call le bahz.. wanted to spend this special day wif him oni.. but i cant.. haiz.. went out wif my aunt today.. went to causeway point.. but all tht's in my mind ish him.. i've been controlling my tears since then.. keeping my tears back till now.. was rather touched when wei xiang gave mi a packet of hello panda.. my fav biscuit.. but how i hope it was frm 'him'.. my bro.. his gf.. my sis and hui min bought mi 'my date with vampire 3' de vcd.. den lata my bro and his gf bringing mi out.. smsed shan if she could accomany mi tml not.. she told mi she's busy.. wanted to ask baby.. but she's pregnent and she haf to accompany tc.. hui min still gotta work.. fioneh having her lesson on monday.. i felt tht i'm the only human being in this world.. no one understand how i feel.. feel like going to ms to haf steamboat.. but there's just too much memories of mi and him there.. so decided to go cine leisure to haf our meal.. just end the call wif my mei.. the 1st time i cried when toking to her.. i realli beri xing ku.. i told her wad realli happened.. she asked mi to call him.. but i realli dun dare to.. i'm realli scared.. i could no longer find the courage to do anything.. nv felt so helpless before.. i realli dunno how to continue wif my life.. i tot 2005 will be a new beginning.. but i was wrong.. everything seems to be coming to an end.. i realli dun wanna lose him.. i cant do without him.. special thanks to isaac for wishing mi happy birthday.. and for kiao-ing mi up frm my slp early in the morning.. whaha

Zai ni zuo you..
Hai you duo jiu..
Zen me yang cai neng rang shi jian dao liu..
Mei yi fen mei yi miao dou zhen zhong..
Yeah..

Wo jin de shou..
Bu yuan fang song..
Shi dian ban de fei ji ta zai deng hou..
Bu yao zai rang zi ji de yan lei liu..
Wo bi xu yao zou..
Yao ji de..

Chorus
Wo men de gu shi zhen nang wang..
Tai duo de hui yi he xi wang..
Bu guan ta you duo feng kuang..
Wo yuan yi yi sheng shou cang..

Wo men de gu shi bu neng wang..
Tai duo de qing jie yao fa zhan..
Bu yao fang qi..
Yin wei you yi tian yuan fen hui ji xu..

Zai ni zuo you..
Hai you duo jiu..
Zen me yang cai neng rang shi jian dao liu..
Mei yi fen mei yi miao dou zhen zhong..
Yeah..

Wo jin de shou..
Bu yuan fang song..
Shi dian ban de fei ji ta zai deng hou..
Bu yao zai rang zi ji de yan lei liu..
Wo bi xu yao zou..
Yao ji de..

Chorus
Wo men de gu shi zhen nang wang..
Tai duo de hui yi he xi wang..
Bu guan ta you duo feng kuang..
Wo yuan yi yi sheng shou cang..

Wo men de gu shi bu neng wang..
Tai duo de qing jie yao fa zhan..
Bu yao fang qi..
Yin wei you yi tian yuan fen hui ji xu..

Wo zhi dao ni ji mo..
Yi ge ren que shi hao nan guo..
Si nian shi yi zhong tong..
Mei you ni jiao wo zen me huo..

Shen bian chong man you huo..
Bu jian ding jiu rong yi fan cuo..
Ni shi fou neng kan jian wei lai de shou huo..
Ni yuan yi zai nai xin deng hou..
Yeah..

Chorus
Wo men de gu shi zhen nang wang..
Tai duo de hui yi he xi wang..
Bu guan ta you duo feng kuang..
Wo yuan yi yi sheng shou cang..

Wo men de gu shi bu neng wang..
Tai duo de qing jie yao fa zhan..
Bu yao fang qi..
Yin wei you yi tian yuan fen hui ji xu..


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 4:13 AM!

Saturday, January 22, 2005

didnt receive his call for 3 days ler.. feeling damn terrible right in my heart.. wanted to find someone to tok to.. but i dunno who shld i turn to.. all i can do.. is to keep the pain in my heart.. called him in the afternoon to let him noe wad i wanna tell him.. the moment he ans the phone.. i cant voice them out.. tears keep flowing.. finally i buck up the courage to ask him if he was still angry wif mi.. he said i was the one who said tht 'shi ni zhi ji da lai de'.. he's still mad at mi.. he still cant forgive mi.. everything tht i've done become wasted.. i noe in fact we cant be the same anymore.. all tht he left mi are memories.. i tot everything will be fine.. but i was wrong.. everything haf changed.. not gonna be the same anymore.. i wont be able to listen to his voice anymore.. i cant see his happy face again.. i cant be there for him anymore.. he's gone.. gone forever.. nth i do could bring him back.. i feel so lost.. as if darkness had fallen on mi.. the pain in my heart.. no one can understand.. i struggle for so long.. gave up so much stuff.. spend lotsa time.. just to see him.. oni for a sentence.. and tht's the end of everything.. at this point of time wei siang msg mi.. i wanted to tell him everything.. but i just cant.. he told mi he was drunk ytd.. den he ask mi if i wanna drink.. coz he still haf half a bottle left in his club.. i realli feel like drinking.. to drunk all my sorrows.. but i just cant find the mood to get out of my house.. where ever i go.. memories of us keep appearing.. even when i'm in my room.. i recalled when he came to my house.. the days we had.. the laughter we shared.. the kiss he'd given mi.. the bruises i had when we were playing.. the way he sayang mi when he hit mi real hard.. the way he stroke wif my hair.. the way he shake my head.. the way he carried mi.. the way he asked mi to carry him on my back.. each and everything.. but now.. to mi.. it's oni a memory.. it will no longer happen again in the future.. the day i'll stop going to tpy.. the day everything come to a stop.. the day where our story end.. the day where my dreams are shattered.. wanted to celebrate my 18th birthday wif him.. but now.. it's all gone.. turn out to be a lonely birthday for mi.. feel like leaving this place.. feel like ending everything.. at least i wont feel the pain anymore.. no longer haf the energy to do anything

*boy.. i'm really sorry.. i didnt mean it to happen.. i realli miss u alot.. i realli nit u by my side.. can u cum back to mi.. i feel so hopeless without you.. i just wan u back in my life.. i cant hold on anymore.. i realli hope ur by my side right now.. i miss the days we're together.. pls cum back to mi.. nv haf i feel so hurt before.. nv haf i fallen so deep in love before.. u're my everything.. u noe how i feel for u.. u noe i cant do without u.. u noe i realli love u.. i've given u everything u asked for.. till now.. cant u still understand how important u are to mi.. i tried not to tink abt u.. but i cant.. u promise mi to share all my tears.. u promise mi to be there for mi.. but where were u when i needed u now.. where are all the promises tht u've promised mi.. where were u.. all these days.. i've been waiting for ur call.. in the end.. u didnt call.. till today.. when i called u.. i was hoping u would understand wad i'm trying to sae.. hope u'll forgive mi.. but i didnt get wad i expected.. but afterall.. i still managed to listen to ur voice for the last time.. thanks for every memories tht u gave mi.. thanks for everything.. take care of urself when i'm not ard.. remember to take ur medication if ur head still hurt.. remember to take ur meals.. dun skip.. lastly.. i love you.. i love you beri much.. hope u'll still remember mi.. hope u'll remember the times we've spend together


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:47 AM!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

well.. i'm back.. didnt blog for a long time.. coz my pc was down.. den to his house for servicing.. den aafter that went to sim lim square to be sent for repair.. and oso one of my ram which was damaged.. my window was corrupted.. burner spoilt.. haf to buy a new burner.. den in order to save 4481 of my songs which i haf collected during the past 1 yr.. nit to buy an external hard disk.. he chose a 160MB hard disk for mi.. and a Magnitude de external casing.. the whole sim lim square.. oni got 2.. the design kan chio.. not air tight de.. altogether cost mi ard 337 bucks.. gave him the external casing and 160MB hard disk as he had been aiming it for a long time.. hmm.. alot of things happened during these days.. quarrelled wif my dad over my work and my cpu.. he realli made a mess out of my life.. he almost disappear from my life.. at that point of time.. he tot my dad disapprove us being together as a frend.. and he told my mummy he wouldn't contact mi anymore.. i was damn sad and fustrated wif my dad.. i cried for hours.. den my mummy came to my room.. saw mi crying.. she asked mi wad happened.. she called him up and explained the whole situation to him.. was supposed to mit up on tht beri day to collect my pc.. but my dad spoiled everything.. even though my mummy explained to him.. it doesnt seems to work at all.. at night he called mi.. told mi he felt beri stressed and failure.. wadeva he wanted to do.. he will nv finished it.. he said he wanted to gif up on his dreams and for pc stuffs.. he asked mi to take care of myself.. i told him alot of stuffs.. and tht i can gif up everything but not him.. i just cant live without him.. after some times.. i managed to pursuade him.. alot of things happened.. but i dunno how should i put it in.. those who noe mi well enough.. would noe bahz.. these 3 days.. we were realli damn close.. i realli did enjoy myself.. it was the happiest days of my life.. too bad.. he's injured.. haiz.. i tink i made him angry ytd.. till now.. i haben receive a single call frm him.. he said he wont call mi in future.. i realli scared tht he mean it.. but all i can sae is i dun mean wad i sae.. i was feeling damn dulan at tht point of time.. i just missed him alot.. i wanna be back to the old days.. like wad we were during the past 3 days.. i feel so lost.. i regretted so much for saying stuffs i shouldnt sae.. there's no turning back for mi now.. i just wan him back in my life.. to me.. he's my everything

*boy.. if u happened to pass by my blog.. i just wanna let u noe tht.. i didnt mean wad i said.. i miss u alot.. i miss ur voice.. i miss the way u tickle mi.. i miss the way u play wif my hair.. i miss the way u pinch mi.. i miss the way u used to hold my hand.. alot of times i feel like hugging u.. but i dun haf the courage to hug u tight.. u're realli the someone in my life.. i cant do without u.. pls dun leave mi alone.. i realli nit u alot.. i cant tell u all these face to face.. but i hope u still remember wad i've smsed u.. i love u more den anyone do.. all the obstacles that we've gone thru.. all the things we've done before.. u bear to let all these memories fade away.. the image of u keep appearing in my mind.. i just wanna hold u close to mi and to make u mine.. everytime i'm wif u.. i feel so happy and contented.. i dun dare to ask for more.. wad i ask for.. is ur love.. although u're always by my side.. but to mi.. to reach u.. it seems damn far.. i oni wished tht i'm able to see u everyday.. and tht i'll receive a call frm u everynite.. all these time.. i've been waiting and waiting.. for u to call and tok to mi.. but now.. it seems so impossible.. can u realli forget the time we used to spent together.. can u realli forget the love and care i showered to you.. can u realli forget the kiss tht u've given mi.. all these moment and actions.. are realli important to mi.. i realli hoped u'll cor mi and tht we'll be back to wad we used to be.. i'll still love u no matter wad.. it's a life time promise i made to u.. just 3 more days.. and it's my 18th birthday.. i just wanna spend this special days wif u.. i hope everything will turn out right during this day


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:46 AM!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Listening To: Groove Coverage - Run Away (Axel Konrad Remix).mp3

it's 2005.. to others.. it may be a new year.. a brand new start.. but as for mi.. i'm still wondering.. is it gonna be a brand new start for mi.. lots of things had happened recently.. fun.. joy.. laughter.. sure.. there's sadness and disappointment too.. things would nv go right for mi.. even if there are any.. it only last for awhile.. and wad's gonna happen next.. there's bound to be sadness and tears.. well.. i'm always ready for wad's gonna happen next.. but i rather things wont be good.. in this case.. i wont be sad the other moment.. but i guessed.. i'm used to it bahz.. it's new yr.. and i'm not going anywhere.. why? simply coz i'm tired due to the time i haf to wake up for work.. although i haf to wake up early.. but the work there is beri relaxing.. haha.. can get to see him everyday too.. den after work always go his house.. or go out together.. he'll probably be going for his ns next year.. so i just wanna treasure wadeva time we are left.. to make it a memoriable moment for the both of us.. ytd went to his house after work.. didnt wander anywhere.. no place to go.. and the place is too crowded as lotsa ppl are going for their countdown.. den he orderd pizza for dinner.. den watched the movie 'kung fu'.. although we're watching vcd.. but his sound system make it as if we're viewing it in the cinema.. haha.. well.. the show was realli damn lame.. damn funny.. a good recommendation for those who wanna watch movies.. lolz.. den after that Jsn called mi.. jio mi go to a wu lu wu lu place.. near bukit panjang.. but i didnt go.. haha.. coz i wanna spend my time wif 'him'.. and 2ndly the place ish realli damn far.. and i'm not in the mood for any celebration.. coz i'm realli beri tired.. lolz.. after the show.. we went out to his neighbourhood for a puff.. den slack ard.. everything went on beri well.. till he spoke abt his channel and mp3 stuff.. he wanna gif up the both of it.. which i feel it's a pity.. there's realli alot of memories tht's left in the channel.. i asked him not to de-reg.. he asked mi why.. and i told him.. some memories in the channel cant be erased.. he asked mi wad.. and i didnt dare to tell him.. but after come discussion.. he decided to leave it untouched.. den now cum the mp3.. spend lotsa time before he decided to hang on.. haha.. well.. maybe 2005 is realli a brand new start bahz.. he spins tonight.. it was realli a good job.. listener peak hit right up to 14.. frankly speaking.. it was realli well done.. the kick was damn high.. he made mi feel as if i'm clubbing.. haha.. the best spin of the year.. lolz.. i'll blog another day.. perhaps when i'm free again or when something good happen bahz.. 2005.. hope everything will turn out fine for mi.. hope it's realli a brand new start for mi



[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:20 AM!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

i'm back once again.. lolz.. to update of coz.. find tht damn long didnt blog ler.. coz now working.. helping his aunt with her flower shop and his uncle with the office work.. damn shiok.. can see him everyday.. accompany him.. eat together.. do stuffs together.. go home together.. lolz.. well.. his aunt's flower shop just opened nia.. hope business will be better bahz.. haha.. ytd went to marina south.. had steamboat as our dinner.. damn fun and it was realli enjoyable.. alot of things happened.. haha.. and guess wad.. i scald myself.. ckp.. lolz.. den after our dinner.. accompany him go arcade as he wanted to play some games.. lolz.. den he play a game some what similar to daytona.. lolz.. ask mi which car to use.. in the end.. we decided to use chen hao nan use de car.. haha.. and he came in 1st in place.. lolz.. after that he bring mi to one wu lu wu lu place.. den keep scaring mi.. coz tht place realli beri dark and wu lu.. some more the wind so strong.. damn fucking eeriee.. den after that went to the main road there.. flag a cab and went home.. reach home at ard 11 plus.. 1st time i accompany him till so late.. haha.. as for today.. we went to work as usual.. his uncle came to pick mi up.. den after that go fetch him.. den proceed to the office.. was damn sian in the morning.. coz they went out to do some stuffs.. came back at ard 12 plus.. den we were like kids.. playing and fooling ard.. haha.. den we went to do some stuffs.. rearrange the whole office.. den threw some stuffs away.. lolz.. finally finish all the task that we are supposed to do.. den slack in the office.. carry him on my back ard.. haha.. damn cute.. den in the evening.. went to his uncle house for dinner.. his uncle's wife is damn friendly.. took out alot of photo albums for us to see.. haha.. guess wad.. i saw his pic when he was young.. damn cute and chubby.. his uncle sae like orh ni gu.. whaha.. as i was flipping through the book.. i noticed he had realli changed alot.. for a playful boy to now de him.. serious when it's time to be serious.. joke when it's time to joke.. get to understand him better.. most of all.. i felt beri happy with my present job.. not oni am i able to learn flower arrangements.. i oso can get to see him everyday.. haha.. christmas is cumin in a few days time.. dunno wad to buy for him.. perhaps bake some things bahz.. more sincer in tht sense.. haha.. my birthday oso cumin in a month time.. just hope that he can celebrate wif mi alone.. coz it was my 18th birthday.. i just wanna spend it together with him.. i wanna let this be the sweetest birthday memory tht i ever had.. hehe.. even though we'll get to see each other everyday.. i still do miss him alot.. not used the time when he's not by my side


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:33 AM!

Monday, November 29, 2004

If I were the moon,
I would light a path to my heart,
When you're feeling dark and stormy
And your world is falling apart.

If I were the rain,
I would wash away your doubt,
Flood your world with happiness
And show you what love is about.

If I were the sun,
I would dry up all your tears,
Your loneliness with despair,
And all your remaining fears.

If I were the wind,
I would blow you a kiss,
Tug on your heart,
And give you someone to miss.

If I were the cold,
I would freeze you for the day,
Sit and admire your beauty
In every possible way.

But I'm just a man,
A husband, lover, and friend,
The love I feel for you,
Doesn't have an end.


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:31 PM!

guess wad.. haha.. i met him today.. haha.. was supposed to mit him early in the afternoon to accompany him to make his scri0t.. but he had something on.. so we postponed the time.. at 1st i tot we werent going to mit anymore.. but at this moment.. he called mi.. haha.. askin mi if i can go over now not.. haha.. and i was so happy and crazy tht i just rush out of my door.. lolz.. den mit him at dorby ghourt de mrt.. den take train to tpy.. when we reach tpy.. we sat outside tpy central there for a smk.. den after that go his home lohz.. accompany him reformat his pc 1st.. reformat halfway he said he was tired.. and wanted to continue when he had taken his dinner.. so i agreed loh.. den he went to slp.. few minutes lata.. he asked mi to look for his torchlight.. den for no reason.. he shone the torch directly at his face.. which makes him looks like ghost.. i was so terrified.. those who noe mi well enough would noe why.. haha.. den of coz i rushed out to the living room to hide.. haha.. but he kuku.. keep cuming after mi.. damn scary.. coz his hse was kinda dark as it was going 5.30pm in the evening.. somemore it was raining.. den he bluff mi sae he's not gonna plae anymore.. den drag mi back to the room.. i tot he wanted to slp back.. but who noes he start his stewpid act again.. haha.. den he keep tickle mi.. bthz.. dunno why i got so many weak points.. scare this and tht.. lolz.. it was realli a torture.. coz i siam here and there.. kena kick from him.. injured my nails.. and got my head knocked against the wall.. haha.. but it was worthwhile.. coz we seems to be back to da past.. we were playing like kids haha.. realli enjoying ourselves.. after some times lata.. he stopped.. haha.. den he taught mi how to fight.. so as to defence myself.. and how to fight back when i'm in trouble.. and i realli hit him wif all my might.. and of coz.. some of my punches realli hit him.. heart pain seh.. haha.. but he did hit back la.. coz it was like demo.. but didnt hit too hard.. it was still kinda painful lohz.. think there's gonna be blueblack ler.. haha.. when he saw how reddish and swollen my right arm was.. he sayang mi.. haha.. that was realli the best moment.. i was like a baby in his arms.. full of secure.. his gentleness realli capture my heart.. i realli wish time could just stop there.. it was realli sweet.. and it realli did pulled us much more closer.. how i wish i could stay right in his arms forever.. how i wish he would just jump on my back and ask mi to carry him forever.. i'm willing to do so.. no matter how far he wants mi to walked to.. coz he's already part of my life.. be it frends or lovers.. i'm alreadi used to the days with him.. is like when he's not by my side.. or i didnt receive a single call frm him.. i will feel a sharp pain in my heart.. i would haf the feelings tht i wanted to go tpy and look for him.. but these few days he's working.. haf to wake up early in the morning.. den knock off at 7 plus if i'm not wrong.. den at nite nit to go out again.. today see him so restless.. beri heartpain.. last time.. he was always full of energy.. but now de him.. was like beri sleepy.. ytd he told mi tht if i today cant mit him.. we wont be able to mit each other for a long time.. coz he'll be working else where.. and now.. i just wanna use wadever time we had.. to accompany him.. coz i dun wan to regret anymore.. i wanna let him noe tht.. no matter wad happens in the future.. he'll always haf mi.. right there by his side.. supporting him and encouraging him.. nevertheless loving him with all my heart.. i'm sure he alreadi knew it by now.. but i wanna let the rest of the days.. be a memorable one.. and a sweet one.. coz he brightened up my whole life.. he show mi the path to my life.. haha.. now waiting for his call.. tml still nit to attend the graduation party at orchard hotel.. wont be able to mit him.. haiz.. but nvm.. tuesday.. we'll be mitting again.. i hope everything will be better on tht day.. hehe


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:23 AM!

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Listening To: Mariah Carey - I Can't Live Without You.mp3

everyone ish asleep rite now.. including him.. but here i am.. writing my blog.. thinking of him.. and our memories.. feeling kinda sad.. it's so damn hurting when the one u love misunderstands u.. and i noe he didnt did it one purpose.. and tht hurts mi most.. i just regret not telling him how much i wanna be wif him.. he seems so tired these few days.. hardly tok on the phone.. i miss the days we've spent together.. most importantly.. i miss the way he jump on my back.. asking mi to carry him.. i miss the way he touches and shake my head.. somehow i got the urge to mit him now.. to tell him how much i needed him.. everyday.. i'm so afraid tht he would call mi and ask mi not to call him or mit him anymore.. the phobia ish just there.. i'm beri sure.. this time round.. i'm trapped in his claws.. i cant live without him.. even when he didnt cor mi.. i feel so wierd.. let alone not mitting him.. so long as i can see him.. i wont mind the trouble to go down to tpy.. for once.. i've waited a guy for so long.. besides terrence.. he's the 2nd guy i ever love deeply.. but things kept going on and off for us.. a moment he asked mi to be his gf.. another moment he tell mi we're the best pal.. just wad i realli am to him.. i dun just wanna be his frend.. he knew tht.. he noe i'll go to the extend for him.. but why things became so wierd.. other ppl can dun trust mi.. they can misunderstand mi for all i care.. but he cant.. he noe wad kinda person i am.. he noe for him i'll gif up anything.. but still he said sth tht realli hurts.. my heart seems to be full of thorns.. seems to be brking apart.. he'll always show mi the light to our path.. but after tht.. he'll shatter my dreams.. kicking mi down all the way.. letting mi fall on my own.. i dunno how long i can hang on.. i just dun wanna gif up.. i just wanna tell him 'i love you'.. i wanna tell him i wanna be by his side till the time of time.. i wanna tell him i will accompany him thru every difficulties he'll be facing.. but i cant.. i cant find the courage to tell him.. i become beri dumb whenever he ask mi stuffs like these.. i oni irritates him.. make him pek cek.. but i dun mean it.. i wanna tell him i do care for him.. and tht i realli do love him.. but it seems like an impossible task for mi.. haiz


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:10 AM!

Friday, November 26, 2004

finally finished my o lvl.. now ish my long term brk.. went to sch ytd to collect my leaving cert.. finally graduate frm tht freaking sch of mine.. for the past few days.. we've been meeting up.. despite the heavy rain.. but this time round.. we werent slacking at his hse.. instead.. i went to his uncle's comapny.. help him wif some stuffs there.. and when i got back home.. i'll be busy again wif his uncle's company de namecard.. nit to design a layout for the namecard and a wallpaper.. this time round.. we got to think in a more mature way.. no more pink colour.. no more cutiee stuffs.. he gave mi the idea.. while i do the layout.. time spend together was great.. the care he've shown mi.. the laughters he had given mi.. i do hope tht time will stop rite there.. i juz wanna accompany him.. haiz.. tml haf to go for an interview at fullerton.. if it's a success.. i guess we'll haf lesser time to mit.. coz i'll be working full time banquet.. frm 2pm to 11pm.. will he forget mi?? will he still cor mi?? will our distance drift further?? i hope not.. if it will.. i rather i dun wan the job.. coz i cant live without him.. hmm.. next wed will be the singapore idol final show.. realli wish to go there and support sylvester.. wooooo.. he rox.. his vocal damn special.. wonder if all his songs will be recorded in cd not.. argh.. find myself crazy over him.. he's realli damn cool.. haha.. well.. no matter wad.. even if all his fans leave him.. he still got mi.. haha.. i'll always support him no matter wad

*boy.. will u remember the time we used to spend together.. will u remember the promises u've made to mi.. will u ever remember the day i told u i love u


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 1:51 AM!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

woke up at 7am today.. nit to gif him morning call.. den went back to slp.. was suppose to wake up at 9am.. as i was miting huimin for the job interview.. but i woke up at 12.05 instead.. den went to prepare everything.. mit her at hougang interchange.. by then i realise.. sharon jocelyn wan mei was there too.. so pai seh to let the 4 of them wait for mi.. haha.. i think i wear until too formal ler.. all of them wear till beri casual.. haha.. den off we went for our interview at Giordano.. den after that went back to hougang.. hui min and i bought a cake for fionehz.. we're celebrating her belated birthday.. oso a time for mi to mit up wif her.. coz of the stewpid o lvl.. i hardly haf the time to go out wif her.. haha.. den we went to hougang mall de beer garden mit fioneh.. leslie weilong and weilong de bro ish there too.. haha.. long time didnt see neh neh.. she bcame much fairer ler.. her hair kan nice.. i like her pink hair beri much.. haha.. bcum kinda skinnier oso ler.. miss those days wif her.. lolz.. den she requested for her birthday song.. so we sang it for her.. lolz.. den after that they went to plaza pak billard.. den i accompany huimin jocelyn and wan mei for their lunch.. after that hui min and mi went to plaza to mit neh neh.. when we reach there.. we had to register for the fucking billard membership.. the uncle oso dunno die where.. haha.. den we took the application slip ourselves.. i took the one wif the number 17474.. the number like askin mi to die.. den i change the other one.. haha.. fi0neh oso change.. haha.. den the uncle came back.. we submit him the form.. he sibei guai lan.. ask us where we took the application slip from.. den we told him we just take from the top lohz.. haha.. den he go liquid away the number.. now bcum fioneh's holding onto the 17474 number.. while i took the 17473.. haha.. fuck tht uncle.. den after that slack at plaza for awhile.. den they went to orchard.. at first i'm oso going with them.. but i'm kinda tired.. feel beri uncomfortable.. den decided to went home.. as long as i stepped into my house.. my hp rang.. haha.. he called mi.. but bcoz the reception of his hp wasnt tht good.. he said he'll cor mi when he knock off frm his work.. den went to watch singapore idols.. haha.. damn nervous.. voted 10 votes for sylvester.. coz the competition is getting higher and higher.. luckily sylvester managed to get into the final round.. didnt waste my 10 votes.. haha.. this time round.. i think he's bound to be the singaproe idol.. he rox manz.. haha.. den waited for him to call mi.. ard 12.45 he called mi.. we chatted and chatted.. all the sweet tok he said.. will always remain.. the promises i've made to him.. i'll fulfil it.. it realli breaks my heart to see him taking 2 jobs.. getting lesser time of rest.. he said if i tell him tht it realli brk my heart to see him working 2 jobs.. he'll quit one of the job.. but no matter how hard i try.. i cant express it to him.. haiz.. i dunno how to express my thoughts and feelings to him.. i dun wanna see him being tired out.. but wad can i do.. he said i bo xim cause i didnt take the initiative to call him or msg him.. but he didnt noe that many a time i realli haf the urge to call him or sms him.. but i'm afraid that i'll disturb him as he's working.. even though i told him that.. he still regard mi as being bo xim.. den i kept quiet.. whenever he make mi real damn happy.. it will oso be a time he'll make mi sad and depressed.. wadeva i do.. it's still the same.. i've waited him for 7 months and it all still happen

*boy.. everything i do.. i do it for you.. hope u'll understand why i did so much for you.. and why i didnt do some stuffs u expect mi to do.. just to let u noe.. it realli breaks my heart to see u working here and there.. i wish i can help u loosen ur burden.. u're my oni one.. the one that i love so deeply.. the one that i noe it's worth sacrifying everything just for u


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:34 AM!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Listening To: Liu Zhong Yi - Nuan Shou.mp3

woke up at 8.40am today.. den went to his house.. fuck the taxi driver.. knn.. go one big rounf to tpy.. cheat my money.. fucking ass.. forget it.. reached his hse at abt 10.45am.. two of his frends was there too.. den he help mi massage my back.. den we exchange role.. lolz.. kinda cute.. den after that accompany him and one of his frend for their job interview.. didnt haf the intention to work oso.. but he ask mi go in the room.. den fill up the kuku form.. haha.. den tht idiot tok so long liao.. sae will contact us.. wtf.. waste their cab fare.. waste our time.. waste our energy.. waste our cigaratte.. pui.. den after tht his frend went to beach road.. den we go back to tpy.. accompany him go tpy central buy blank disc.. den go his house.. actualli wanna accompany him burn out all his song de.. but guessed we're too tired ler.. we fell asleep in the living room.. den woke up at 6.30pm.. asked him to return to his room and slp.. coz i'm going home.. he called for mi just when i was abt to open the gate.. he asked for a goodbye kiss.. but i'm too ham.. dun dare to kiss.. haiz.. till now.. still regret.. the worst haf yet to come.. was actualli mitting him tml.. accompany him format his pc.. but he told mi his grandfather pass away ler.. so he's staying at the hospital to accompany his grandfather.. therefore we cant mit tml.. haiz.. i noe wad's his feeling right now.. i've been through it before.. although he look strong on the outside.. but frm the way he spoke.. i can sense his sadness.. i cant be there for him right now.. i cant console him.. i cant cheer him up.. i cant accompany him.. i cant take care of him.. for i noe.. he's bound to skip his meal.. haiz.. hope he'll be stronger.. and noe how to take care of himself.. all i can do.. is to console him over the phone.. *do u noe how much i miss you*

*mei ge ren yi tian dao wan tan lian ai.. ke shi shui liao jie she me cai shi ai.. ru guo ba yi qie shou ming bai.. you xi jiu bu jing cai.. gan dong de xin jiu hui ting bai.. mei ge ren zhi xiang hao hao tan lian ai.. you mei you xiang xiang liang ge ren de wei lai.. wo qi dai er wang le xian zai.. xian zai de ni he shi li kai.. xian zai de wo zai yu zhi wei lai.. ke neng shi wo zhu dong li kai.. xian zai wo you duo xi huan ni.. liu gei ni cai..

*ni shi wo shen hou di yi bai tiao he liu.. di yi ge liu guo xin tou.. na shi hou dong ben xi zou.. jiu xuan she me ye mei you.. hai you yi ge ren wei wo mo mo de shou hou.. ni shi wo shen hou di yi bai tiao he liu.. di yi ge bei wo bao liu.. man chang de ren shen dao lu.. jiu xuan you zai da cheng jiu.. bei yi ge ren gua nian yi zhu gou..

*ni mei shuo bu ai wo.. que xiang lian ren ban.. qian guo wo de shou.. ju li hua de guo.. dan que you wang xiang fan fang xiang zou.. ru guo bu yao wo.. wei he xiang lian ren.. shen me dou bu shuo.. zhi shen xia yi ju mei kai kou.. ni bu hui dong.. ni bu hui dong wo you dou xiang ni..



[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:53 PM!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

i just feel so out of place.. no one understands mi.. i just feel so tired of life.. had a fight wif my youngest sister.. i admit i'm too harsh.. i'm stressed.. i'm tired.. i'm sicked of everything.. i felt so useless in this family.. i'm neither good in my studies nor controlling my temper.. i realli regret wad i did.. but wad can i do.. i hurt my mummy.. i've hurt my sis.. i've hurt everyone ard mi.. but i'm truly sorry for wad i did.. i'm not a good sister who can take care of everyone in my family.. i cant bring joy and laughter to them.. i always let them down again and again.. i feel so down.. but i cant turn to anyone.. i just wish tht he was by my side now.. i miss him so much.. oni he can make mi feel happy and comfortable.. but i just cant sense his presence.. i realli dunno wad to do.. i miss my grandfather.. whenever i'm in doubt or in troubles.. he'll always be there for mi.. but now he's nowhere in sight.. we in two different world.. i cant pour out my sorrows to him.. i got no one to turn to.. i just feel so lonely.. as if everyone haf abandon mi.. i'm left all alone.. i wish i'm not in world.. or perhaps.. i'm realli not fit to be here.. wad's more to be a role model for my youngest sister.. i tink it's time for mi to change my attitude and my thinkings


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 9:14 PM!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

had my maths paper today.. not enuff time to finish it.. lost alot of marks.. argh.. beri gek sim.. all thoes questions ish i noe how to do de.. if dunno how to do de nv do still nvm.. damn dulanz.. overall the question quite easy bahz.. hmm.. went to hougang mall to haf my breakfast with my sis and my mummy.. den go cd-rama buy the zouk de cd.. after tht went home to cook some porridge for him.. was waiting for his call.. den banana pm mi told mi sth.. which is wad i intend to do.. den he msg mi in irc.. ask mi if i can mit him today not.. of coz i agree.. didnt expect the weather to change so fast.. when i reach the bus stop.. it started to rain cats n dogs.. wanted to take cab.. but no cab stop by.. argh.. den took bus to his hse lohz.. when i reach ler.. still nit to walk a distance to his blk.. suay suay nv bring umbrella.. ji tao drenched to the skin.. make up all fade away.. argh.. but nvm.. i tink it's worth.. pei him watch vcd.. stream and mix song wif him.. quite enjoyable.. can see he's realli damn happy today.. although he's sick.. he still pei mi tok and joke with mi.. lata he going for job interview.. but he's still having his fever.. hope everything will go well for him bahz.. best if he recover faster.. dunno how's leroy case ler.. all of us are worried for him.. hope nth will happen to him bahz


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 7:07 PM!

Listening To: Guo Wei Yun Toro - Wang Le Ai.mp3

had my english paper and physic paper today.. think gonna fail my physic ler.. damn idiot.. tot there will be lotsa question on transformer.. electromagnectic induction.. but in the end.. none of it came out.. spend lotsa days studying tht chapter.. but wad came out today.. are wad i did expect.. all those basic de question.. too basic till i nv realli take a good look at it.. haiz.. tml having my maths paper 1.. dun haf any confident.. haiz.. he's sick too.. wondering how he's gonna sit for his paper tml.. just now when he called.. his voice seems so weak.. it's as if he didnt even haf the energy to kill an ant.. maybe tml after my paper go find him bahz.. realli hope he will recover faster.. it hurts my heart to see him in this state


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 5:19 PM!

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Listening To: Dong Li Huo Che - Bu Gan Xin Bu Fang Shou.mp3

long time nv update my blog ler.. was busy preparing for my o's.. had my chinese paper today.. damn it man.. i guessed my 'A' fly away ler.. studied the whole of sec 5's work.. but none came out.. but overall quite easy bahz.. hopefully can get an 'A2' bahz.. was drenched in the rain.. argh.. felt beri sleepy.. but just cant get to slp.. still thinking of him.. wondering how good it will be if he's oso taking the paper this yr.. today is my youngest sister de bday.. haha.. played some pranks on her.. but we did surprise her.. lolz.. he did called mi today.. ask mi how's my paper.. i'm glad he still remember i'm having my o's.. den waited for him to stream till i fell asleep.. after that his frend told mi he went to take the paper today.. kinda surprised.. at least we can fight the battle together.. felt damn relieved.. gonna haf my social studies paper tml.. haben even studied.. i guessed i haf to retake my o's next yr.. haiz.. lotsa things are troubling mi.. shan dar dar n her laogong brk ler.. see her so sad.. i oso dunno wad to do.. whenever i'm sad.. she's always there for mi.. but i failed to do likewise.. i wanna see her happy.. but i dunno how to cheer her up.. bcoz of the o lvl examination.. we hardly contact each other.. some more now no hp.. even harder to stay in contact.. but no matter wad happen.. i'll always be there for her.. haiz.. i miss him alot too.. cant mit up for at least 3 weeks.. haiz.. will we drift further and further apart.. i hope not.. if it's gonna happen.. i rather i'm not sitting for the o's

*shan dar dar.. if u manage to cum across my blog.. i just wanna let u noe tht no matter wad happen.. i will nv leave u.. i'll nv let history repeat.. even if nobody trusts u.. u'll haf my trust.. we're gonna go thru every thick and thin together.. remember our promise.. remember our motto.. i lurfe u.. muackz


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 5:47 PM!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Listening To: Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting.mp3

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Chorus
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Chorus
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Chorus
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 5:00 AM!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Listening To: Zhang Hui Mei - Ting Hai.mp3

was chatting wif him on phone ytd nite.. he ask mi why these few days nv cor him.. den i told him i dun even haf his no.. how to call him.. den he said i can msg him in irc.. see his idle away so long.. i tot he slping or busy.. tht's y nv msg him.. scare i tht i will disturb him.. but in the end.. he sae i bo xim.. haiz.. alot of things happened ytd.. almost quarrelled.. mood was damn sucky ytd nite.. haiz.. .. went to sch as normal.. slept all the way.. damn tired.. didnt realli slp well the past few nights.. went to his house today.. pass him sth as he needed it urgently.. den fall asleep at his house.. hmm.. den listen to his spin.. played those pro dj plae de song.. damn nice.. crossfade kan zhun.. haha.. den after tht he help mi massage.. how i wish time can stop there.. dunno if in the future.. will he still massage for mi not.. i hope he will.. but all these are hard to sae.. feel like hugging him tightly and dun let go.. coz who knows when we'll get to mit again after parting.. i mish those days..

*boy.. ur name is deeply engraved in my heart.. i guessed.. there's nth tht can remove u from my heart


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 11:59 PM!

Listening To: Jay Zhou Jie Lun - Jie Kou.mp3

fucking day for mi.. quarrelled wif the old man just now.. argh.. hate him alot.. fucking ass.. brainless old freak.. puiz.. dun sae ler.. now my gum damn pain.. my wisdom teeth ish growing again.. haiz.. disappointment engulfed mi.. he called mi at 5.43am today.. chatted for awhile.. den he asked mi wad time i'm going to sch.. i told him 6.30 or 6.45 bahz.. den he sae lata pei mi tok.. den we end the conversation.. i tot he was realli going to call.. but i waited and waited.. not a single call frm him.. i noe.. once again.. an empty wait.. just wad am i to him.. haiz.. always gif mi hope.. but in the end.. disappointment came.. promises broken again and again.. nth will ever come true.. i'm so damn fucking tired.. tired of all these.. didnt even haf to mood to study for my o's.. ppl are studying.. and here i am.. getting hurt by this stuff

*qi wang yue da.. shi wang yue da.. dun treat mi too good if u dun love mi.. dun gif mi empty promises if u cant fulfil it.. are promises realli meant to be broken??


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 2:55 AM!

Sunday, October 10, 2004

watching vcd right now.. haiz.. the story beri touching.. was chatting wif shan just now.. she told mi he still care for mi.. the reason why he didnt call mi these few days.. is bcoz he scare tht he'll sae sth th'll make mi sad again.. haiz.. i miss him alot.. every night.. i'm waiting for his call.. but it always was an empty wait.. although i'm quite used to it.. but my heart hurts alot.. especially when shan told mi he called her.. our chances of miting each other ish lesser and lesser.. will he miss mi.. will he still remember mi in the future.. i dunno.. but deep in my heart.. i hope he will.. forget abt all this.. dun wish to continue.. well.. atteneded a workshop ytd.. D.I.S.C workshop.. a workshop to discover wad's our strength.. and to noe more abt ourselves.. frm the questionaire tht i did.. the result tht came out seems damn true.. it realli describe wad i realli am.. haiz.. but why am i still in this state.. dun wish to think so much.. but i cant.. haiz.. blog again tml.. he sae he will cor mi lata.. will he cor mi.. hope so bahz

*missing u had become part of my daily routine.. waiting for ur call.. is the oni thing tht i could do


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 5:51 PM!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Listening To: Ekin Zheng Yi Jian - Zhi Shao Hai You Wo.mp3

here i am.. back to blog again.. nth much happen today.. went to sch as per normal.. den had my tuition at 2.05pm.. all the way till 4.30.. den michelle came.. haha.. long time nv see her ler.. find tht she slim down quite alot.. den she was kinda lame.. called the penguin huiting up.. di siao her.. ckp.. whaha.. di siao until her dad ans the phone.. bthz.. den huiting and hui fen came along too.. had quite alot of fun.. thanks to them.. without their jokes.. i tink i will be feeling damn moodless now.. haiz.. shan and her bf brk ler.. she sound so sad.. dunno wad i can do for her.. whenever i'm sad.. she's always there for mi.. giving mi the comfort i nit.. but now.. i cant even reach for her.. felt kinda useless.. tml she's having her exams.. hope tht she wont be affected by this incident.. wishing her all da best.. hmm.. tml going to beach wif dar dar shan.. felt tht i seriously nit to clear everything off my mind.. perhaps.. it's time for mi to let go.. a love which cost so dear.. but it was nv meant to be mine.. will i be letting those who had help mi down.. haiz.. i'm so damn confused.. i dun wish to let go.. but i dun wanna be trap in this hurtful hole.. nv regret going to tpy 2 days ago.. i guessed.. tht would be the last time i'll see him smiling so happy.. the last encouragement tht i've given him.. the last time he shake my head.. i'll cherish the memories tht we once had.. thanks for everything.. the song i'm listening to right now.. ish just wad i wanna let u noe

*boy.. i love u.. no matter wad happen.. just remember.. i'll always be there for u.. wadeva u do.. u'll haf my support.. although i still dunno how u feels towards mi.. but i'm glad tht u gave mi ur trust.. the laughters tht we once shared.. will always be rememberd in my mind.. being with u.. ish the happiest moment i had ever receive in my whole life.. i love u

Song Of The Day

Ni yi ding hai ji de..
Jiu fang zi de yan se..
Ceng jing wo men zai na li duo kuai le..
Rang ni gan dong de ge..
Ceng jing yi chang yi he..
Dao xian zai ting lai shi fou mei she me..

Ni shi fou hai ji de..
Ban yan guo de jiao se..
Mei yi tian shang yan bei shang li he..
Wo men dou xiang liu ke..
Zhong shi na me cong man..
Hui you shui zhen de nan fen nan she..

Chorus
Ke shi ni zhi shao hai hui you wo..
Wo yong yuan shi ni hui yi de ji tuo..
Nan me duo de kao yan..
Wo men ye hui yi qi jing guo..
Shi jian de liu shi suan she me..

Ni zhi dao zhi shao hai hui you wo..
Wo yong yuan shi ni zui hou de ji tuo..
Bu guan she me shi qing..
Wo dou yuan yi wei ni er zuo..
Wo zai deng dai ni shou..


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:40 PM!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Listening To: Alec Su You Peng - Xing Fu Yi Wan Nian.mp3

didnt attend school today.. feeling kinda down.. tired and stressed up with life.. wadever i do.. it didnt seems to go well.. i hate it.. i hate the way my life ish in.. why cant i get anything i want.. why people around me are able to achieve it.. am i realli tht 'shi bai'.. flung my prelims.. haiz.. dunno how to face my tutor.. my parents and my beloved grandfather.. i broke the promise tht i've made to him.. i didnt study hard enough.. in fact.. i gave up my studies.. i always tot tht he would stick to his last decision.. but ytd he told mi he dun wanna study ler.. next yr den retake.. haiz.. so disappointed.. tot tht by sacrifying my studies.. he realli will study.. but i guessed i'm wrong this time.. all the promises tht he made.. were broken.. maybe i didnt motivate him well enough bahz.. wish to noe wad he's thinking.. went to his house today.. bought hin his breakfast.. den pia cab go tpy.. at first quite happy de.. but sth happen.. maybe i'm jealous bahz.. whenever he tok to gers or wad.. i keep getting this feelings.. i'm realli scared tht i'll lose him.. haiz.. kinda depressed.. maybe i nit time to cool myself down bahz.. just feel like going to the beach

*boy.. wo hao xiang ni.. wo hao ai ni.. wo zhen de bu neng mei you ni.. ni shi wo sheng ming li de yi qie.. mei you le ni.. sheng ming li ye jiu mei you le yi yi.. ni neng ti hui dao wo de xing qin ma


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:55 PM!

Monday, October 04, 2004

Listening To: Jerry Yan Cheng Xu - Xiang Yao Ai Ni.mp3

Wishing on a dream that seems far off..
Hoping it will come today..
Into the starlit night..
Foolish dreamers turn their gaze..
Waiting on a shooting star..
But what if that star is not not to come..
Will their dreams fade to nothing..
When the horizon darkens most..
We all need to believe there is hope..
Is there an angel watching closely over mi..
Can there be a guiding light i've yet to see..
I know my heart should guide mi..
But there's a hole within my soul..
What will fill this emptiness inside of me..
Am i to be satisfied without knowing..
I wish then for a chance to see..
Now all i need desperately..
Is my star to come..

*boy.. it've been 4 days since u last called mi.. i dunno wad's wrong wif us.. i just wanna let u noe tht.. during these few days.. i realli miss u alot.. the image of u.. kept appearing in my mind.. no matter wad i do.. i kept thinking of u.. i tried to get u outta my mind.. but i simply cant.. i realli cant.. did i change or are u the one tht've changed.. do u still remember the time tht we spend together.. do u still remember tht i still exists.. alot of times.. i wanna tell u how much i love u.. but i cant bring myself to tell u tht.. for i'm afraid the situation might change.. i realli dun wish to lose u.. either as a frend or someone else.. nv did i fell so deeply in love before.. haiz.. there are alot of things tht i wanna tell u.. but i dunno where shld i start from.. i realli hope tht we can be back to the past.. i nit ur care.. ur concern.. i nit u by my side.. without u.. life seems so meaningless.. i felt so lost without u.. will u be there when i need u.. will u be there to dry my tears.. will u be there when i need ur hug.. i realli miss u.. i dunno wad to do except to wait for ur call


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:45 PM!

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Listening To: Dou Yu Ost - Till The End.mp3

it had been days since i last saw him.. ever since he attended hao ming's birthday outing.. he nv called mi anymore.. neither did he inform mi when he wants mi to go over again.. everything seems to be changing.. we seems to be drifting further and further apart.. the hurt within mi ish getting deeper and deeper.. i no longer feel the happinese tht we once had together.. the kiss he gave mi.. the time we spend together.. the promises he made.. the way he make mi luff.. the way he console mi.. the way he care.. all these.. became oni memories.. will we be wad we're like in the past.. i'm realli scared tht i'll lose him.. i realli dun wan all these to happen.. these few days.. there's always been 3 questions in my mind.. did he haf a gf.. does he still remember mi.. or is he avoiding mi.. i realli wish to noe the ans.. now.. even when he's online.. he didnt bother to msg mi.. nor did we tok.. i felt as if it's the end of our frendship.. everything ish gonna end here.. haiz.. feeling so hurt.. i just miss him alot.. even in my dreams.. it's him.. the same dream kept appearing.. i dunno wad to do.. i wanted to mit him.. i wanna see him.. i wanna listen to his voice.. but all these are nv meant for mi.. maybe.. in the future.. he'll forget mi bahz.. but i'll always remember him.. for he had given mi the best memories tht i ever had in my whole life.. boy.. if u came across my blog by chance.. i just wanna let u noe tht i love u alot.. even though we cant be together.. but i realli hope tht we can still remain frends.. i'll always remember the time we spend together.. thanks for everything.. thanks for all the memories tht u had given mi.. i realli cherish them all.. u've shown mi the best side of love.. u let mi understands wad love ish all about.. although at times i'm not by ur sides.. but in my heart.. u're always there.. i dun blame u for wad u did.. i dun blame u for the hurts.. i just blame myself for not being by ur side when u needed someone.. lastly.. i wanna tell u.. ur the oni guy tht i ever love so deeply.. do take care.. hopefully one day.. u'll realise how much u mean to mi

Song Of The Day

Till The End

All these precious moments..
With you by my sides..
Must be a gift from heaven..
That's holding me all night..

I don't know how i found you..
I'm thankful that i have..
Now that i have a love so true..
To hold.. To keep.. To share..

Chorus
In my heart..
I can no longer hold inside..
All of the love i used to hide..
I'll always be..
With you until the very end..

In this world..
There is no place i'll probably..
You are my life.. my soul.. my girl..
You threw it all..
I know you've come to see..
That you're the one..
Till the end..

All my friends surround me..
Say you'll be gone too soon..
Baby i'm gonna make them see..
We found our way back home..

Chorus
In my heart..
I can no longer hold inside..
All of the love i used to hide..
I'll always be..
With you until the very end..

In this world..
There is no place i'll probably..
You are my life.. My soul.. My girl..
You threw it all..
I know you've come to see..
That you're the one..
Till the end..


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 3:35 PM!

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Listening To: Cai Xing Juan - Yuan Fen.mp3

long time since i've update my blog.. so sorry to my frends out there.. somethings wrong with my IE.. hmm.. alot of things happen during those times.. happy and sad.. needless to sae.. it's regarding him again.. it's always script.. i realli wish that i'm oni an mirc user.. and not one tht noe how to create a script.. feeling rather down these few days.. hp kena stolen.. mi and him started to drift apart.. empty promises are all tht i receive time and again.. i gave up my studies just bcoz of him.. i flung all my prelims.. even my best subject chinese.. cant believe tht i'll get a c5.. realli disappointed in myself.. haiz.. we didnt realli contact each other for this whole week.. realli dunno wad to do.. felt as if i'm just a fool.. someone xtra in this world.. i love him with all my heart.. no matter how he treat mi.. my feelings for him ish still there.. o lvl are cumin.. in a mth time.. i just cant find the fucking mood to study.. all in my mind ish just him.. was suppose to attend my grooming course ytd and today.. but i tot he wanted to study.. so i skipped the course.. went home to prepare den mit him.. who noes.. he told mi he's going to work.. as for today.. i think he's at his frends hse.. a female.. tink he left her house ard 2+ bahz.. haiz.. just wad am i to him.. i felt so isolated at times.. just wad am i gonna do.. can sumone help mi out.. i dun wanna stay in this isolated island anymore.. i had enough.. i realli had enough.. i cant take it anymore.. hurts are all that i have now.. heart is broken.. tears went dry.. time haf pass.. feeling went numb.. a failure shall remain a failure forever

Song Of The Day

Yuan Fen
Cai Xing Juan

Bu ke bu xiang xing yuan fen..
Yuan fen xiang yi shan ai qing de men..
Shi wo yi zhi zou cuo men..
Hai shi li mian de ren bu kai men..

Jiu jing yao wo deng duo jiu..
Duo jiu ni cai yuan yi gao shu wo..
Zhe shan men..
Shi fou zhong jiang wei wo deng..

Chorus
Yuan fen.. yuan fen..
Zhi pa you yuan mei you fen..

Zuo deng you deng..
Zhi pa kong deng bu pa leng..

Xin teng.. xin teng..
Zhi pa you xin mei ren teng..
Shui zhi ming yun hui jiang ni wo zen me fen..


[..+ wawa +..] Thinking Of You At 4:20 PM!